By: TRUTH CAUCUS · 10/10/2006 · AIM: crnctruthcaucus · Section: To Wit

TO WIT – DAFFY DUCK AND SWEDISH BLONDES

Right now, you’re probably in a catatonic state now that you’ve learned that North Korea—a charter member of the Axis of Evil—has obtained a nuclear device. (If the United States Government doesn’t tell us otherwise by the time this is published.)

But, we must keep in mind that North Korea and its ruthless dictator Kim Jong Il probably won’t use the said nuclear device anytime soon. (Perhaps because they’ve already wasted the only one they have in some mountain in North Korea.) You see, Kim Jong Il is addicted to power. (I think he loves his life of having sex with teenagers way too much to do something that would put his dictatorship in jeopardy.)

For example, we learn from the New York Post that Jong Il loves fine cognac (he’s a drunk!), Daffy Duck cartoons, and Swedish blondes. He reportedly has 13 illegitimate children. (Just what we need, an Asian version of Ted Kennedy.) [NY Post]

But, just in case my assumptions are wrong and a situation develops where we need to take unilateral action against North Korea: I hope to God (I capitalize His name here at TRUTH CAUCUS) San Francisco’s Nancy Pelosi isn’t Speaker of the House.

Of course, my hopes could be dashed in a few short weeks. Mark Foley and his merry men (gay pages horsing around) have nearly ruined our chances of keeping the house.

Jordan Edmund meets with federal investigators today in an undisclosed location. (Or what I like to call: “Oklahoma City.”)

President Bush welcomes the Peru president to the White House and speaks at the National 4-H conference today in Washington DC.

Tennessee Senate candidates Harold Ford Jr. and Bob Corker debate tonight at the University of Tennessee.

The Pennsylvania State University College Republicans (alma mater of Rick Santorum) say that the forced resignation of their chairman is an internal matter and will be dealt as an internal matter. (Ok.)

I can’t stand: U.N. Resolutions.

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